Have you ever considered that laziness is necessary to start anything?
You don't need a kickstart. You need an UNstart.
We must be UNambitious, UNmoving to begin. Momentum is not even possible without starting at zero. When we begin anything, especially something with that has a lot of big goals and dreams attached to it like getting married, having a baby, or starting a new business, our brain begins to think about all of the possibility.
When we think of all of the possibility, we also think about everything that can possibly...go wrong.
And then we feel overwhelm. Self-doubt. Imposter syndrome.
Too much information; too much swirling around in our minds means there is a lot of emotion. How do we know? Because we think over 70,000 sentences every single day. Every ONE of those sentences creates an emotion. Our brain groups like sentences together. When we're thinking a lot of sentences that involve a lot of tasks and goals, and each of those sentences creates emotions like stress, anxiety, self-doubt, overwhelm, and confusion, we end up NOT wanting to feel those emotions because there are just SO many at once.
There's a simple solution for this. The lazy brain can lead with a broad perspective, and yet with complete focus at the same time. It can zoom way out looking at the big picture - thinking one sentence and feeling one emotion about that image formed in the brain, and then zoom in to focus on one idea. The beginning. The start. Zero. Static, if you will. NO movement.
Just like any object, it's useful to think of our goals, projects, even micro-tasks in terms of speed. Can you start a car at 60 MPH?
No, you have to start from 0 MPH.
There are three Sentences I use to remind myself of this when I feel anxiety and stress creep up, depending on which one applies:
Allow yourself to a beginner
Come lazy, come unambitious, come with ease and allow momentum to build
Momentum is not the goal; Success is not the goal; Speed is not the goal - they are useful markers of my only goal - to create and serve.
Too much input or output; too much expectation for ourselves or someone else creates a need for control.
The Self Help Search
Have you ever noticed how the world of Self-Help isn’t helping us? Why?
It asks a lot from us at the beginning
There are too many steps
Self help doesn’t teach us how to support ourselves so we can actually help ourselves
We tend to extend help to everyone else first (ouch - this one hits home for me, how about you?)
We don’t learn why helping other people isn’t what we think it is.
People pleasing (we are trying to control the emotions of other people)
Self-serving help vs selfless help (we are trying to feel better by helping people, or get external validation from them)
Agenda with benefits (there is something we want to happen - we have an agenda - we want some kind of change to happen and a benefit to come out of it, as if we are owed the benefit because we did the work)
Everything we do is because of how we think we will feel or how we think they will feel
THIS IS MY WHOLE LIFE'S STORY!
I started my first small business over 25 years ago, as a young girl, and I was hardly lazy - in fact all I was was motivated, ambitious, a dreamer ready to prove my ability and my desire for success was at an all time high. At the same time, I was going through the FIRST of life's most difficult curve balls. All I wanted was to feel better. And I believed I would, if only...
If only I lived in a better apartment.
If only I could buy and renovate this house.
If only I had my own salon.
If only I lived in a different city.
If I could just get a better job.
If I finished my degree. My Master's. My Doctorate. Got that Certification.
If only I hadn't broken the engagement off.
If only I had said goodbye.
If only I had chosen a different treatment plan.
If I could just lose weight.
If my partner would take the trash out.
If my kids would let me sleep in.
I would FEEL BETTER.
And yet, ALL of those things happened. I created them all in my life. Not at the exact time that I wanted, but eventually, they became my reality. I did not feel better. I kept searching.
So how are we ever supposed to feel better? How will showing up lazy help our production and our ultimate outcome?
We need other measurements. Let's start with balance.
There has always been good and bad. We know about Yin/Yang. We cannot comprehend darkness without light. The beauty of light and shadow is not only depicted everywhere in art, it's a critical aspect of how we interpret a painting, a photograph, even a sculpture. The full spectrum of the human experience can be found in art because of light and shadow.
The full spectrum of the human experience can be found in our emotions in the same way. There really are no positive or negative emotions. They are more like a full color spectrum rainbow plus light and shadow.
The concept that our life is 50 percent positive emotion and 50 percent negative emotion is helpful to believe if we are stuck in a lot of negative emotion. We often feel uncomfortable with specific emotions on a certain side of the emotional spectrum, so we do whatever we can NOT to feel those feelings. Usually by numbing them with behaviors. Actions. Buffering them to suppress. We overuse phones and screens, sex, work, drugs, alcohol, sugar, and other foods to give us a hit of dopamine. All to avoid feeling the magnetic vibration our body is trying to send as a message.
What is that message?
Pause. Get lazy. Release.
It's how I came up with the Lazy Start Guide to Small Business Success
How do we measure release? How do we measure balance?
The Emotional Spectrum.
You feel it.
In her book You Belong, A Call For Connection, Sebene Selassie talks about how to come back to the root knowing of our interconnection and when we harm anyone it harms all of us. How we have killed off the ancient ways of knowing, particularly through the teaching and conditioning absolutes of Western science, medicine and colonialism.
Like the Earth's atmosphere, our Energy Fields are tangible and real, though perhaps not seen by every one of us. Each of us has a Life Force - known by many different names and descriptions in many cultures, religions and belief systems. Collectively, even many scientists theorize that there is an Energy beyond the human form that is unseen.
It can be explained very simply.
Our brains generate electrical impulses, know as thoughts, in the form of Sentences.
These electric impulses convert to a magnetic vibration in our body. We call that vibration Emotion. We have all kinds of names for each different vibration we feel, depending on the electrical impulse and the vibration it generates. Our Emotions then convert into another form of energy. Behaviors, or Actions.
This is the exact same process that happens when you use a light bulb or an electric stove. A light bulb is like your brain. An electric charge runs through it and converts to light and some heat. You now have light. An electric stove sends an electric charge through the heating element, which converts to heat, and some light.
Your brain, when it is running on Default, AND when certain Sentences run through (like the electric stove) converts an Electrical Impulse (thought in the form of a Sentence) to an Emotion (heat and some light), which often feels like literal burning and heat in your chest, hands, gut, or face, which then converts to another energy... Actions. A list of Behaviors that follow. Actions, Inaction, and Your Internal Dialogue.
Of course we have Emotions we want to feel, too! How do we describe them? Like light! The vibrations of Emotion we enjoy are no different than the conversion of an electrical charge in a light bulb - converting from a Sentence that creates light and some heat.
In your mind, imagine the last picture you took (or joke that was told) that made you laugh? Feel JOY? Really SMILE?
What is the Sentence you think when you feel that Emotion?
Do you feel the light?
This is one way we can measure. By creating our own feelings, on purpose. You just did it. If you can do it once, you can do it again. Doing it from your past is actually harder than doing it from your future.
In our time together, your light bulb Sentences become the Default. Which means, your light bulb Emotions become your Default.
If you have been sitting in self-loathing, confusion, overwhelm and just...been stuck, this is the BEST NEWS!
It means you will be unstuck! You will move forward! NOT from force. Never from motivation. But from pure light. Pure Emotion. Sentences.
In the LSGSBS, we do this with:
Daily micro successes
The MAGIC HEALING of the Self-led Search
Total IMMERSION of Default, Awareness and Expansion
Lining up for Expansion
Flow So you can GO!
Self-Confidence Class
Your Belief Backpack. It’s like a dial that’s slowly ticking in the same direction as we expand one belief at a time.
How to Keep, Tweak and Trash so you can Quit Quitting
The Lazy Lead - How to Keep Going
If you're ready to change permanently. If you're ready to Feel Better without anyone else's courses, results or blueprints. If you're finally ready to understand why self-help doesn't help, and how to actually BE the answer to yourself - for everything in your life, without difficulty, without stress, without anxiety, without ADDING to your list of tasks, but actually subtract from it, you are in the right place!
Let's get started. Book your Next Steps Call today!
Comments